Thank you for this. Refreshing and beautiful.
Today is the 3 year anniversary of Barry Bernard’s death.
I love you always, best friend.
<33
THE THINGS I GAINED FROM A GREAT LOSS.A few Memorial Days ago, I lost a friend and the world lost a truly amazing man. Barry was a character of sorts; Before knowing him, I had seen him around in his outrageous clothes and even more daring dance moves. Eventually, one of my best friends began dating him, and we watched- for what felt like the first time for all of us- a man love a woman and treat her right. Before Barry, there was no telling what catastrophe would befall us in our relationships, and that was the status quo. He changed everything we knew about life and love by his example. In the small town we lived in at the time, it was easy for rifts and grudges to ruin friendships- but Barry refused to play that game. He came from a genuine place, and no matter how long you knew him, he made you feel comfortable. With his giant smile and boisterous laugh, he could shrug off every situation and everyone would follow suit.
It comes as no surprise to me that when he died, the entire city of Gainesville, Florida mourned. It seems like everywhere we went had a sign, a donation jar, and kind words to give to those closest to him. An advisor in my department sent me his deepest condolences, parents were wiring money to his fund, people were sending flowers and food- anything anyone could do was done. I witnessed a small group of grieving 20-somethings plan a truly respectful and touching memorial service. It was the first time I understood and felt that feeling of community. And of course Barry could make that happen.
When he passed, it took a few weeks for me to really understand that he was gone because it seemed like he was everywhere. I saw him in everyone’s eyes, I heard him in every condolence, and every dance was for him. And I swear that hasn’t changed. I can still hear his laugh echoing through an empty room, I still see him whenever there is a dapper man on a nice racing frame, I still end parties by playing Antony and the Johnsons (a trick he taught us).
And while this is one of the most challenging times for a lot of us, Barry didn’t leave us with nothing. I saw in myself and everyone around me a shift in perspective. I think we all silently vowed to always live in his honor. To do our best to be the best, and to accept everyday as a fucking precious gift. I became closer with my friends, I became friends with people I otherwise would have never met, and now I treat every person how Barry would if he were here.
To do right by him is to do right to others. And as much as I miss him, I am so thankful I knew him.
“There’s only one rule that I know of, babies-‘God damn it, you’ve got to be kind.’”
- Kurt Vonnegut
the honey loaf
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I've been meaning to start a daily blog where i post pictures of my everyday life and write a little poetry or prose. All these photos on here are taken by me. I'll try my best to update often, but motivation has always been an emotion that I've sorely lacked, preferring always to lay around and loaf, if I could lay in a field of daisies with the sky slightly overcast, the sun behind some fluffy animal-shaped clouds, I would just read and daydream forever. In fact, just substitute a field of daisies for a soft bed and there you have it. Sloth runs high on the list of my favorite sins...Or shall I say ambles?
I like; I want: The things I gained from a great loss.
Just shot Irene’s Wedding photos. They are absolutely amazing together! I had so much fun shooting them. Can’t wait to finish up these photos!
There are different worlds in which we live. There’s the macroscopic world that we see. There’s the world of our cells. There’s the world of our atoms. There’s the world of our nuclei. These are each totally different worlds. They have their own language. They have their own mathematics. They’re not just smaller— Each is totally different. But they’re complementary, because I am my atoms… but I am also my cells. I’m also my macroscopic physiology. It’s all true. They’re just different levels of truth. The deepest level of truth uncovered by science and by philosophy is the fundamental truth of unity. At that deepest subnuclear level of our reality… you and I are literally one.
8.09.11
